Gaius Valerius Catullus
84-54 BCE (over 2,000 years ago)
Latin (Golden Age)
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo/Aureli pathice et cinaede Furi/qui me ex versiculis meis putastis/quod sunt molliculi, parum pudicum.
(I’ll make you my bitches and dethroat you both, Aurelius, you sex-fiend and Furius, you pansy, you guys who thought, from my own little verses, that I am not very proper, because they are somewhat tender;)
Nam castum esse decet pium poetum/ipsum, versiculis nihil necesse est;
(For while it suits a dutiful poet to be chaste, this does not apply to his verses;)
Qui tum dunque habent salem ac leporem/si sunt molliculi ac parum pudici/et quod pruriat incitare possunt/non dico pueris, sed his pilosi/qui duros nequeunt movere lumbos.
(So then they have wit and charm, even if they are somewhat tender and not very proper, and because they can incite the thing that itches, I don’t speak to children, but to these shaggy fellows who can't even thrust their obese hips;)
vos, quod milia multa basiorum/legistis, male me marem putatis?
(You two, since you have read my 'many thousands of kisses', think me not manly enough?)
Pedicabo ego vos et irrumabo.
(I'll make doggify and bitchify you both.)