Gaius Valerius Catullus
84-54 BCE (over 2,000 years ago)
Trans RMBullard
Latin (Golden Age/Republican Era)
XXV. ad Thallum
CINAEDE Thalle,
[You perverted bastard, Thallus]
mollior cuniculi capillo
[you are softer than the hair of jackrabbit]
uel anseris medullula
[or the soft marrow of a goosebird]
uel imula oricilla
[or the most inner part of a tiny ear]
uel pene languido senis situque araneoso,
[and the limp dick of an old geezer, and a sandy place]
idemque, Thalle,
[and at the very same time, Thallus]
turbida rapacior procella,
[you're more rapacious than a swelling storm]
cum diua mulier aries ostendit oscitantes,
[when your rich wife shows off her yawning rams]
remitte pallium mihi meum,
[return my cloak to me]
quod inuolasti,
[the one you stolen]
sudariumque Saetabum
[and my Saetaban handkerchief]
catagraphosque Thynos,
[and my painted Thynan ones too]
inepte, quae palam soles habere tamquam auita.
[you jackass, I mean the ones you have become used to holding in your hand out in public like an old maid.]
quae nunc tuis ab unguibus reglutina et remitte,
[those ones, do now unattach from your greasy palms and send them back]
ne laneum latusculum manusque mollicellas
inusta turpiter tibi flagella conscribillent,
[or else, to your detriment, will unrelenting blows scribble all at once and foully about your woolen little backside and your girly hands]
et insolenter aestues,
[and you will burn up, in hilarious fashion]
uelut minuta magno
deprensa nauis in mari, uesaniente uento.
[just like a tiny ship, once it's taken down into the great big sea, by a raging wind.]
