Gaius Valerius Catullus
84-54 BCE (over 2,000 years ago)
Trans RMBullard
Latin (Golden Age/Republican Era)
SALAX taberna uosque contubernales,
[You filthy street shop, and all you shopgoers,]
a pilleatis nona fratribus pila,
[there is a single hair among you nine hair-plucked brothers,]
solis putatis esse mentulas uobis,
[do you think that you alone have little dicks,]
solis licere, quidquid est puellarum,
confutuere et putare ceteros hircos?
[and that you alone can fuck all any amount of girls you want, and think other men to be *hircos?]
an, continenter quod sedetis insulsi
centum an ducenti,
[or, since you now sit all in a row, insolently, numbering a hundred, or even two hundred,]
non putatis ausurum
me una ducentos irrumare sessores?
[do you imagine that I wouldn't dare to fuck two hundred seated fellows all by my lonesome?]
atqui putate:
[no, go ahead and think it:]
namque totius uobis
frontem tabernae sopionibus scribam.
[after that, I'll just graffiti the front of your entire shop with dicks.]
puella nam mi, quae meo sinu fugit,
[let me explain: my girl, who now abandons my side,]
amata tantum quantum amabitur nulla,
[a girl will never be so loved as much as she will be loved,]
pro qua mihi sunt magna bella pugnata,
[for her sake, I've fought great battles,]
consedit istic.
[now she sits with them.]
hanc boni beatique
omnes amatis,
[You make love to this girl, cause you are wealthy and lucky,]
et quidem, quod indignum est,
omnes pusilli et semitarii moechi;
[and really, because you are all snivelling little whoremongers, which makes you unworthy;]
tu praeter omnes une de capillatis,
cuniculosae Celtiberiae fili,
Egnati.
[And you, Egnatius, most of all, king of stringy haired fellows, and spawn of a little Celtiberian cunny.]
opaca quem bonum facit barba
[You're the kind of man that a dark beard makes legitimate,]
et dens Hibera defricatus urina.
[and whose teeth have been brushed down with Spanish piss.]
