Gaius Valerius Catullus
84-54 BCE (over 2,000 years ago)
Trans RMBullard
Latin (Golden Age/Republican Era)
O FVRVM optime balneariorum
Vibenni pater
[O, you most distinguished of bathhouse thieves, and father of Vibennius,]
et cinaede fili
[and perverse fucker of lads]
(nam dextra pater inquinatiore,
culo filius est uoraciore),
[you see, the father has a more disgusting right hand, but the son is hungrier when it comes to his asshole,]
cur non exilium malasque in oras
itis?
[why don't exile yourself, or leave to some evil shores?]
quandoquidem patris rapinae
notae sunt populo,
[even though kidnapping is commonly experienced by people from our nation, ]
et natis pilosas,
fili, non potes asse uenditare.
[you could not even ransom off the hair ass cheeks of your son for a dime!]
